So here we go again. Another Big Brother summer has begun and it's sure to be another infuriating and fun ride. Tonight we meet our "new" group of housemates as they prepare to spend the summer together in competition for the $500,000 prize.
We start off with Julie announcing to us that there's a Big Brother like no other which is pretty much what she promises us every season because it's in her programming to do so. She goes on to explain that there's a new twist like no other while basically then telling us that this season is essentially Season 9's horrible couples concept combined with Survivor's Fans vs. Favorites format. Awesome.
And the first impression intro videos begin:
Dominic - Is a momma's boy. And probably a tool as well.
Cassi - Is a southern tom boy model. Hmm.
Lawon - "Everyone loves me." Doubtful Lawon. Very doubtful.
Keith - A youth minister...who chases girls...He's also a hypocrite it seems.
Shelly - Seems like she'll be stubborn and butt heads a LOT.
Adam - Is a loser. That's all.
Kalia - A relationship blogger who is like really like good with like words.
Porsche - A VIP Waitress. Conceited with an annoying laugh. Rachel 2.0.
Lawon, Shelly, Dominic, and Porsche are the first four to enter the house. Shelly thinks Porsche sounds like a stripper name. I can't disagree. The other four then enter the house and everyone freaks out...including Keith who is a pig.
Eveyone is quick to pick up on the fact that there's more beds and place settings than there are people in the current house. The introductions than begin and Keith makes me hate him even more. Seriously. I loathe him already and the season has barely begun. Actually, everyone other than Lawon and Keith improve my opinion of them after the introductions so I'm aleady a little more hopeful. Kahlia in particular stands out to me.
The first twist of the pairing is revealed. I'd quickly pick Kahlia, Shelly, or Cassi if I were in the house based on first impressions, but that's just me. Porsche and Keith team up and I hate them. Shelly and Cassi team up and I love them together. Dominic and Adam get together and I feel bad for Dominic. Kahlia gets stuck with Lawon and I feel for her. I would have preferred if Dominic and Kahlia paired up.
Adam immediately figures out that there will be old houseguests returning because for some reason when people enter the Big Brother house they immediately figure everything out, but Julie leaves them hanging.
The door bell rings and everyone freaks out. Rachel and Brendon enter the house and I throw up a little. Just kidding. I throw up a lot. Kahlia and Adam win even more brownies points by making fun of Rachel. I already can't fucking stand her existence...again. Shelly wins brownie points too. God I love the new houseguests.
Then, the doorbell rings once more and Jeff and Jordan enter the house to make my life a lot better. I love Jordan and she's literally my only favorite to ever win Big Brother. I just worry that her winner status is going to hurt her here against the newbies.
Then the doorbell rings yet again. The third and final couple entering the house is Dick and Danielle. I start vomiting even more. Danielle's hair is black now and she kind of looks like Jenna from Pretty Little Liars. How long before she starts crying again?
Dick starts being a dick to Jordan immediately and tries to take charge of the house. It seems Danielle and Dick hate each other still and I already like Danielle a little more. I wonder if it's genuine or not though.
We then move on to the first HoH of the season and it's filled with gorillas and bananas which inspires Lawon to act like an idiot. It looks like this is an endurance competition to hang on to the banana. To make things even more difficult, they get sprayed with chocolate syrup.
Shelly is the first fall. Then Jordan falls. Keith jumps next and I'm glad because it means he can't be safe this week. Cassi and then Lawon fall next. Dominic displays his uncomfortableness with man to man contact despite that it may be necessary for the competition. Adam then falls and keeps Dominic's butt untouched. Jeff then drops followed by dominic. Porsche and Kahlia are the remaining two newbies with the two couples returning that I absolutely hate. Brendon then takes the fall followed by Kahlia. Porsche then drops meaning that a returning player will be the first HoH of Season 13. Rachel makes a deal to keep Dick and Danielle safe if they drop. Dick and Danielle take it. So conceited, stupid bitch wins the week. At least she'll probably keep Jordan and Jeff safe.
Julie then promises yet another twist. The twist is that anyone who survives eviction cannot be nominated until the final 10...Which makes sense because of the couple twist. I feel like Danielle will end up in the Top 10 then. At least I hope she will because I don't want Dick to go four weeks without being nominated and then going home.
My question though is what happens with the PoV? I guess we'll find out on Sunday for sure, but it seems like a PoV will save the entire couple.
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